Inclusion of All

June 28th, 2010

CelebrationOver the years, I have got a great kick out of bringing facilitation and community engagement skills into personal event planning – our wedding (80 drums on the beach at sunrise), our daughters naming day; and more recently, as I wrote about in the March edition, the celebration of a ‘century’ – my partner and my 100th (combined) birthday.

In this issue, I wish to reflect on the celebration of a life – a funeral.  This year, I have participated in two very different funerals, a traditional Catholic mass for my Great Uncle, and a celebration of a wonderful musician and friend; Jim Lay, which was conducted within a National Park complete with smoking ceremony. Within the Aboriginal communities who I have been working with, there has been much Sorry Business this year; and I have also had opportunity to experience different approaches to Sorry Business; including in one community, where the funeral is only conducted when and if all of the right people are there (and not at a pre-determined time). Last year, my Great Aunty Muffins, passed on at the grand age of 95. I was away working and in hindsight, wish that I had of created a way of “being there” despite my physical absence. I now have some strategies (read on) for addressing this.

Over the past month, I have felt very privileged to witness my colleague and friend, Nigel Russell and his family, and the way in which they farewelled Nigel’s mother. I thank Nigel for sharing his story (below) and how he and his family facilitated this event to be inclusive of all…whether in Adelaide, New York or not on this world…………………

Nigel’s Story…..
I was totally focused on what needed to happen.  With my sisters, I needed to create a suitable farewell event for my 90 year old activist mother (Rosslyn Russell), and deliver the eulogy.  Now a month down the track, I see what remarkable things come out of adversity and what we are all capable of.  Also,  how closely what happened at that funeral links with what our clients want when they are having productive meetings with people by phone conference or videoconference .  I write this with a picture of mum in front of me.  I think that she is co-editing this!

Here is what we wanted from the funeral event and how it occurred:

We wanted to include a range of people in the occasion, as if they were there.   If you have been to a funeral, then you would be familiar with this feeling of presence and complete belief that you are there with the deceased person and that you feel people who are there and also feel people who are not physically there.  How did we get this at my mother’s farewell?

We did the planning totally believing that we could “be” with people who were not there, and that they would completely “be” there with us.  It became an unspoken truth in all that we did during the planning and at the service.  To capture content for the eulogy, I listed various roles in mum’s life – mother, wife, wartime driver, adventurer, inventor, sustainability activist etc.  That made it easy to put snippets of conversations with friends and family, into some sort of order.

We engaged a celebrant – whose role was to “facilitate” the service.  He asked us about how we wanted the service to feel.  We said that we wanted people to know how THEY had contributed to mum’s (and all of our) lives.  His role allowed me and the other speakers to focus on our bits and he made sure the opening and closing and segues happened smoothly and in context.

We wrote the newspaper pieces and also the Order of Service focussing on people being very welcome to come, and on their contribution “Thank you for enriching her life which will continue to inspire and influence future generations”.  We were engaging them in their own stories with mum.

At the funeral, we spoke to and addressed mum’s coffin.. with all of our heart and soul believing that she is hearing us and that we could hear her.  While we reflected on the past, we also conversed in the present, and included her in the future!  We included my younger son William in the ceremony, even though he was in New York.  We did this by synchronising our times, feeling his presence with us, looking at his physical “space” next to the lectern as we spoke.  Our other son James turned to that space next to the lectern and asked William if he (James) could read William’s poem!  In fact some friends thought that William was actually on a phone or video link.  We included names of some of mum’s friends who had already died, and how their presence and influence in her life is continuing on in the current generation, and into the yet to be born generations. We felt there was no difference between those who were physically present and those who were not.

The lesson?  For me it confirms to me that there needs to be a complete personal belief – that you CAN engage with anyone, wherever they are, if you are willing to totally believe you can.  A funeral service is one place where I think this happens.  Do you see this happening when you watch a young child playing, where they have complete belief in their game?  We ask our business leaders – what opens up to you if you could truly believe that you can engage richly with anyone, wherever they are?

At the funeral it felt wonderful to be inclusive.Celebration

Enrichment of community and self

May 31st, 2010

New Picture

A healthy social life is found only, when in the mirror of each soul the whole community finds its reflection, and when in the whole community the virtue of each one is living” Rudolf Steiner
At the weekend, I participated in a meditation retreat under the sacred Mother Mountain of Gulaga, on the Far South Coast of NSW, Australia. Our retreat facilitators, Tanmaya and Ro Beaumont, articulated an intention of celebrating interconnection and diversity, within self and community. I emerged from the retreat with a stronger sense of both self and community and an unexpected confirmation of Evolve’s recent business name change to EVOLVE COMMUNITIES.

Community – derived from the Old French communité which is derived from the Latin communitas (cum, “with/together” + munus, “gift”),

Community =  Together a Gift

The gift(s) of Community are far reaching – both communities of interest and place.

My greatest inspiration and a person that I most admire for the way in which she ‘walks her talk’ of community, also a dear friend and colleague,  is Dr Alison McIntosh. In the 90s, Alison and I worked on a ‘Development Strategy’ for Wingham NSW, a recommendation of which was the establishment of a community driven action group (WAG). Alison, with her husband Noel, have been instrumental in keeping WAG alive, and over a decade later, improvements are still being made by WAG to the social and physical fabric of Wingham. During this time, Alison has undertaken a Doctoral thesis and post doctoral research exploring, inter alia, communities of place and communities of interest, wellbeing and belonging, resilience, masculinity and violence, and migration.

I asked Alison, if she had a minute to share one of her greatest lessons from this comprehensive and complex research, what would she say. This was her reply:

“Actively engaging with other people through community enriches you as a human being; creating tolerance, acceptance and understanding. As a professional, engaging in your own communities (of both place and practice) will increase empathy and understanding, enriching your own practice and work”.

My work over the past twenty years has been about community. As an Urban and Regional Planner in the late 80s, I despaired that I and my peers spoke of community as the ‘other’,  a disparate entity that we were separate from – ‘them’ and ‘us’. I think many of our failures in urban planning result from this, and a subsequent failure to build infrastructure that creates and nourishes liveable communities.

In my more recent work with the Yalata Aboriginal Community in South Australia, I have been reminded of the importance of allowing space and time within a community to acknowledge grief and what is. The Yalata community consists mainly of Anangu people who lived in the spinifex country far to the north prior to their forcible removal to Yalata in 1952. In the 1950s, traiditional lands of the Anangu were used for Atomic Testing by the British Government of the day. There is a beautiful book sharing this story, “Maralinga the Anangu Story” (2009), written by the Yalata and Oak Valley communities with well respected Australian Author, Christobel Mattingley:

“The people were deeply troubled about what was happening to their own lands, and acutely unsettled by their forced removal to this alien country. Its grey powdery limestone was so different from the red earth of the desert that they knew and loved. Homesick, and sad, they described the new country as  pana tjilpi, greyearth.  They said it made their hair go grey, like tjilpi, old people. They said it made them old to live there”.
(Yalata and Oak Valley Communities, with Christobel Mattingley, p35)

I am assisting the Yalata Community to develop their plan for how they wish to care for their Country. While the deep grief is palatable when you visit this community, so too is they joy of children and life, two generations of children now being born at Yalata. As I visit the schools, health centre, art centre and other community gathering places to learn about the Communities’ desires for Country, my understanding and ability to synthesise what I am told into a land management plan is enriched for knowing the story of this Community. It is also enriched for being part of a range of community groups myself.

There is a growing body of research around the costs of long working hours to the community and social fabric. I remember being astounded when reading an article in the Sydney Morning Herald about a Lawyer and young mothers  ‘guilt’ when she knocked off work for two hours at 6pm to take her son to soccer and then return to work.

It is easy to fall into the trap of taking on more work and I am as susceptible to this as the next person. I am now only getting to that point of factoring time with the community (whether a community of interest, volunteer group) above time ‘working’, while maintaining time with family as priority one. Of course, the desire for more ‘stuff’ or that home renovation needs to be balanced against  the value of this time. However I think that a certain amount of time invested with community will have greater returns, not only for me as a professional (the focus of whose work is community) AND as a person. Not easy! Worth it though!

Can you bend at the knees

April 21st, 2010

New Picture

I am currently suspended over the beautiful red centre, flying to Cairns having spent a delightful four days at Uluru and Alice Springs. I enjoyed a meeting of the minds over the past two days, facilitating training with 12 passionate, committed people on how to best engage with communities when delivering rural services, especially indigenous communities. I leave with some wonderful reflections and ‘gifts’. While we met at the Centre, people travelled from the East, South and West coasts, and interestingly six participants came from NSW.

As for the immediate, I went to purchase a coffee at the airport before boarding, with increasing franticness I dug deeper into my bag as I realised that that my purse (my ‘mini life’)  was not there. Talk about funny moments. At the hotel I offered two other travellers a lift to the airport in the taxi I had ordered. As it turned out, they had a taxi voucher and generously paid the fare and I therefore did not need to locate my purse. When I got to the check in, the lovely gentleman said that he trusted me and I did not need I.D.  so – you guessed it, I did not need  my purse. If it was not for my delight in caffeine, or if they were giving coffee away for free, I still would have been blissfully ignorant that my purse was awol. Quick phone calls to the motel and taxi confirmed that my purse was at large. My hope is that in my absent minded and mindless fashion, I popped it into my checked luggage. Otherwise, my arrival at Cairns will be most interesting, given that I do not have a contact there. The reason why I am sharing this story, which I think makes it even more amusing, is that I have had reason to immerse myself back into meditation and mindfulness over the past week. And I thought I was getting somewhere………

Over the past 6 months I have spent alot of time away from home for work. While I love what I am doing, which is often in remote parts of the Country without phone coverage, I do miss my daughter and partner terribly. This time I was feeling particularly anxious about being away so long. A number of pathways converged to lead me back into mindfulness, especially as a way of managing anxiety. One of those prompts was a sensational Leading Lights session with Patti Digh ‘What would you be doing today – if you only had 37 days to live?’. Patti was awe inspiring, as was her deep humility and wisdom (and thank you to Andrew Rixon for connecting us with Patti). This session and reading Patti’s work has reinforced a few messages that I know AND so easily forget. First and foremost, the more you surrender a need for ‘perceived’ control, the more deeply you immerse yourself and enjoy the moment. Secondly, every moment of life is special so celebrate that or in Patti’s words “hire the red convertible” (and that is a metaphor of course, you don’t need money to adopt this attitude). We have been doing this at home by having “breakfast celebrations” with a candle or two every other morning. The third was a terrific reminder about how freeing it is to let go of the need to be right. The mindfulness readings have reminded me of how much beauty I miss (so close it could trip me over) spending time thinking about what was or could be. And I thought I was doing very well, up until the airport.

We used open space principles as a platform for our training (especially whatever happens is the only thing that could have and whoever comes are the right people) . The group embraced both these principles and that of the marketplace (free space, choice, contribution, connection, continuity and certainty). We all learnt much from each other. One gift that I was given was the phrase “you must bend at the knees”. This is an expression often used in remote Aboriginal communities to express a person’s willingness to genuinely engage and talk “can they bend at the knees?”. Can they sit down and have a yarn and truly listen. I think that collectively over the two days we shared some strategies to enable even greater flexibility in our ‘knee bending’. These included things like remembering when relating to communities to make it fun and enjoyable – to have a hook, a reason why people want to engage. Once you have that, and with time and space, you will, when it is right, get to the more serious business. And yes isn’t that a universal need after all – for fun and enjoyment.

As for now, I am still wondering about the missing purse and if I will be making Cairns airport my temporary home. I am also cringing and laughing on the inside as unfortunately, this is not the first time I have left a purse (mostly while overseas)  in a taxi, or on a plane, in fact I have kind of lost count of the places and times I have done this! Have I still not got the message…..

That all said I have enjoyed ‘being with you’ over the past 30 mins while writing this and the opportunity to share my thoughts and excitement from the past 2 days……I work with another group in Cairns for the next two days facilitating the same program, knowing that with a different group it will nothing but the same and hoping that I can bring as much attentiveness to this as in Alice Springs, purseless or not.

And here comes the coffee cart………………

Warmly,

Carla

P.S My purse was in my checked bag, However, I did end up sharing a taxi and I did offer to pay, and my lovely new travelling companion insisted – I kid you not!

Carla Rogers | Principal | EVOLVE
www.evolves.com.au
Mob: +61(0) 428628190
Skype: carla.evolve
Linked In: carlaevolve
Twitter: carla_rogers

Celebration of a Century

March 22nd, 2010

tye dyeWow! February and March have been busy months at Evolve. I am recovering from a big week of festivities, where my partner and I celebrated birthdays that ended in 0’s. We combined the 0’s and had a centenary celebration on the weekend. During the planning for the festivities and the ‘big event’, I got to thinking: How much of our ‘facilitation skills’ do we consciously and sub-consciously bring to the fore in social events?

I believe that there is something unique about facilitation as a skill set and practice. It is both learned and innate. Its uniqueness is that there is opportunity for practice in every interaction, and also how we facilitate ourselves, inwardly and outwardly.

The ‘tie died’ theme party was held at our local surf club with stunning views across the beach, Montague Island and the magnificent headland and rock formations.  It was, as you could imagine, very colourful.  My first shock (and assumption – never assume in facilitation) was that nearly all of our party goers did not have tie-dye in their wardrobe. I have to admit, perhaps with retrospective embarrassment, that I had enough tie-die in my wardrobe to decorate the hall and dress most of the party.

Our first conscious piece of facilitation was the invite – setting the theme, and laying the picture of what people could expect (e.g. kids would be entertained for a couple of hours). Our second was to adopt some Open Space Technology principles – whoever shows up are the right people and when its over its over. Our third was to have a good look at the layout of the venue, where we placed food, drinks etc, how we could create a space that was easy, comfortable, that encouraged interaction and provided opportunities for dancing, group interaction and quieter conversations. Our fourth (and possibly more controversial) was to use name tags.  To make the name tags less formal, we used the tie dye theme. We also had some of our practiced facilitators (e.g my mother) offering name tags as they met and chatted to people.

Luckily, many of our friends are natural born sub-consciously competent ‘facilitators’, who encouraged interaction between ‘strangers’. One of those was the children’s entertainer – the pirate. I was very impressed with the way that she seamlessly integrated into the party. As some parents remarked “Wow – where did you get this women – I did not see my children for 2 hours”. She wandered through like the pied piper (many times) gathering the children, entertaining them, they would then disperse for a while and she would regather them (particularly our daughter who is very much into the Open Space ‘law of two feet’ – wandering rapidly between activities). All in all, the pirate managed to entertain over 20 children for 2.5 hours – a very advanced facilitation skill set if I ever observed one.

While I am observing and dissecting the facilitation principles overtly here now – our goal was that any ‘facilitation’ was invisible – which I think the best facilitation, generally, is. And most importantly, my partner, daughter and I had a hoot, and enjoyed the only 100th birthday party that we are likely to have.

On the formal facilitation side, I have been busy running community engagement training with a range of local and state government agencies. I have also been working in remote South Australia with an indigenous community helping them to prepare a management plan for their indigenous protected area. A bonus was to have my colleague Nigel Russell (NoMadMeetings) join me – providing valuable trusted perspective and feedback to me in the Evolve facilitation approach. While a land management issue, we spent most of our time while in the community at the school and health centre. On my next trip, we are planning a few camps with the community jointly with the health centre and school. More on that in future issues……

I hope you can join me on April Fools day (Australia time: 1 April) to have a conversation with an outstanding story teller and Leading Light, Patti Digh  “What would you be doing today – if you only had 37 days to live?”.


But Why?

January 25th, 2010

mountain_compress

Our daughter, now 3, is perfecting that most brilliant one word question - Why?; and in getting very practiced at responding, I realise how critical this question is to all of our work at Evolve and NoMadMeetings.

I just completed the dream tender, with a full quote, and had fun doing it! Why?  A rare gem. The organisation had defined the objective (Why) with a good understanding of their audience (Who) and had left the ‘How’ up to the respondent (the potential contractor). Sound simple? Yes! Like common sense? Yes! And like many things that we write about in Evolve Now, the simplest things can be the most powerful and least practiced (unless you are aged under 5 with the wisdom of asking the Why? question incessantly).

The ‘NoMad 5 Step Model for Effective at a Distance Communications’ has the Why at its heart – The reason Why you are having a meeting determines Who needs to be there which determines How you are best to plan and run it. We underpin this with powerful questions to help clients refine the Why and the Who. Many clients come to us with a ‘How‘ (for example, we want to do an online meeting using xyz as a platform). We spend deliberate and focused time stepping the client back from this, and through a series of coaching questions, help them refine the Why and the Who. Often the ’How‘ (approach) originally presented to us is changed, radically and often much simpler and less costly.

This simple Why, Who and How lends itself to many a story, quote and metaphor. And I can feel one coming on now….

During the 1990’s I toyed with the notion of being a ‘Mountaineer’. This led me to Mount Aconcagua, Argentina in 1997, a trip guided by adventurer and wild woolly mountain man, Jon Muir and the first women to scale the 7 big continental peaks, Brigit Muir.  4 weeks on the Mountain; one of those in a blizzard waiting for a window  to summit, crammed into two men tents, taking shifts to hold the tents down and out, against the 100km plus winds (did I mention the  minus 60 degree Celsius wind chill factor?), which threatened and ultimately did shred most tents.

“The peak of Aconcagua can be a sweet and complacent woman if the goddess of the sun (Febo) shines and the god of the wind (Eolo) sleeps, but when the furies of the gods of the wind are unleashed and the dragons of the clouds devour the sky, the peak turns into a terrifying and cold witch”. www.aconcagua.com

After day 5 of the ‘cold witch’ unleashing her fury, and five days and nights of pondering ‘Why’ I was there, I had the AHA moment. It was all about experiencing the mountain, as much a spiritual experience for me as a month in an ashram. Summiting was not only irrelevant, but felt increasingly ‘wrong’ as I contemplated local indigenous connections and perspectives of the Mountain (which were to leave her alone). I was the first in our party to head back down to base camp and with this decision I easily let go of the notion of summiting, without any conflict or disappointment. A rich and intense experience I had had (both Gods – Febo and Eolo). Through not summiting (or in conventional speak – failure) I had learnt so much.  When I walked off the plane at Sydney airport, my family looked ashen and greeted me with dropped jaws – I looked “mummified”. When excitedly sharing my photos, someone honestly remarked “Wow, looks like you spent a month in a quarry with some snow”. They were all relieved that my next Mountain, was to be on the Far South Coast of NSW and was less than at the lofty height of 600m.

Now that I more clearly understand my intention (the Why), I choose different mountains and different experiences, and on many occasions, with increasing (and overdue) sensitivity to indigenous connection to Mountains, I stay away from the summit. Now with some purposeful reflection on the Why before I set off on the journey, I find that I choose a more satisfying path. As my daughter tugs at my skirt and asks “Why” for the 10th time in less than one minute, I can trust that she is on the wise path, and let the rising impatience slide.

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EVOLVE NOW BOTTOM LINE: Focused and deliberate contemplation of the ‘Why’ can be time masterfully spent, for both you and your clients, yielding  the right approach (the How) and solution.If you are discussing and or have committed to an approach (How), pause, step back and check that you are clear on the Why and Who.

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Fun with Wordle and a Wish

December 21st, 2009


candle

“My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m Happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?”  – Snoopy, Peanuts

While it may seem counterintuitive, I think Snoopy is on the money for the holiday season. At this time of year, I feel fortunate to luxuriate in aimless endless summer days of beach, books, laughter and fun. What is restorative for me is that there is NO agenda, purpose, expectation - just a pile of library books, which may or may not be opened, with beach towel at the ready.

I spent some time yesterday reflecting on the year past, and in particular the marketplaces that I have run, several at professional conferences. At each of these I asked a similar theme question based on the Solutions Focussed Approach,  to stimulate participant thinking about their ideal future (which could relate to work or play) and then identifying practical steps to move towards this. Interestingly, as I review the 1000’s of lines of data,  seven words were consistently identified irrespective of context (Click here to download the conference marketplace reports). They are:

Time, Open (ning) (ness), Create, Fun, Listen, Accept, Trust

What wonderful ingredients these words make for a Christmas/New Year recipe. Here is mine: In those seemingly endless summer days, I will TRUST and ACCEPT whatever is, enjoying the TIME to CREATE and be OPEN and deeply LISTEN and most of all have FUN with those I love.

I have been having fun with a type of Word Art lately. The image to the right is my Christmas wish for you, using Wordle, to create from as you wish.

Thank you, readers for being part of the Evolve and NoMad community and have a wonderful New Year.

Wicked Problems

November 18th, 2009

“Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.”  — Laurence J. Peter (cited in Conklin, 2008)


I always knew that there was a great reason for indecision! Having just returned from running a series of 6 marketplaces™ across Victoria, Australia, I am reflecting (as one does) on the diverse experiences and ‘highlight’ moments. While the format and theme of each marketplace was the same, the mixture of participants at each marketplace was as equally diverse as the six physical locations.  I have stepped into my office for a day, before I step out and head off to the International Association of Public Participation Conference in Perth. In this space, between steps, I look back and forward. ‘Wicked Problems’ is both the conference theme and of the marketplace that I will be running. I realise now, that ‘wicked problems’ is the bridge between past and coming experiences.

What is a Wicked Problem?

According to Wikipedia, a “Wicked problem” describes a problem that is difficult or impossible to solve because of incomplete, contradictory, and changing requirements that are often difficult to recognize. Horst Rittel and Melvin M. Webber formally described the concept of wicked problems in a 1973 treatise, contrasting “wicked” problems with relatively “tame,” soluble problems in mathematics, chess, or puzzle solving.

Jeff Conklin (2008), identifies the following as defining characteristics of wicked problems:

  1. You don’t understand the problem until you have developed a solution: Indeed, there is no definitive statement of ‘The Problem.’ The problem is ill structured, an evolving set of interlocking issues and constraints.
  2. Wicked problems have no stopping rule: Since there is no definitive ‘The Problem’, there is also no definitive ‘The Solution.’
  3. Solutions to wicked problems are not right or wrong: They are simply ‘better,’ ‘worse,’ ‘good enough,’ or ‘not good enough.’
  4. Every wicked problem is essentially unique and novel .
  5. Every solution to a wicked problem  is a ‘one-shot operation.’
  6. Wicked problems have no given alternative solutions.

Reading this was an AHA! moment for me (probably a”DUH where have you been Carla” moment for many of you). Inherent in our work as facilitators and public participation practitioners, is a degree of ‘wickedness’. During the recent marketplace series, participants were asked if the marketplace approach “hit the spot” by placing a mark on a mock dart board (close to centre if their experience was 10/10, off the board if 0/10). The average rating was around 7 or 8, with a good number at 10/10. I did catch myself being drawn to the few lower scores (5/10), with a desire to somehow move them towards centre. While this desire for improvement is probably a good thing, reading about ‘Wicked Problems’ and its application to group work, reinforced for me that this variation in satisfaction is inherent, REAL and also probably a good thing! When I imagined applying the target evaluation concept to a concert-goer’s experience (my last concert was Bette Midler some years ago), I realised how ludicrous the notion was, that EVERYONE would have had a high (or similar) satisfaction level.

So, back to the ‘wicked problems’. Three approaches are suggested for tackling and taming them, they are Authoritative, Competitive and Collaborative. Surprise, Surprise – Collaborative could be a job description/intent for many of us:

These strategies aim to engage all stakeholders in order to find the best possible solution for all stakeholders. Typically these approaches involve meetings in which issues and ideas are discussed and a common, agreed approach is formulated. In his 1972 paper, Rittel hints at a collaborative approach; one which attempts, “…to make those people who are being affected into participants of the planning process . They are not merely asked but actively involved in the planning process

So armed with this I head off to Perth now, to run a marketplace exploring wicked problems and to learn from my peers about taming them. I look forward to sharing insights!

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EVOLVE NOW BOTTOM LINE: Exploring and accepting the ‘wicked’ nature of many ‘problems’ or projects that we work on, helps movement towards a solution that is generally ‘better’.

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Out of Time by Kenneth Slessor

August 31st, 2009

1
I saw Time flowing like a hundred yachts
That fly behind the daylight, foxed with air;
Or piercing, like the quince-bright, bitter slats
Of sun gone thrusting under Harbour’s hair.
So Time, the wave, enfolds me in its bed,
Or Time, the bony knife, it runs me through.
“Skulker, take heart,” I thought my own heart said.
“The flood, the blade go by – Time flows, not you!”

Vilely, continuously, stupidly,
Time takes me, drills me, drives through bone and vein,
So water bends the seaweeds in the sea,
The tide goes over, but the weeds remain.

Time, you must cry farewell, take up the track,
And leave this lovely moment at your back!

II

Time leaves the lovely moment at his back,
Eager to quench and ripen, kiss or kill;
To-morrow begs him, breathless for his lack,
Or beauty dead entreats him to be still.
His fate pursues him; he must open doors,
Or close them, for that pale and faceless host
Without a flag, whose agony implores
Birth to be flesh, or funeral, to be ghost.

Out of all reckoning, out of dark and light,
Over the edges of dead Nows and Heres,
Blindly and softly, as a mistress might,
He keeps appointments with a million years.

I and the moment laugh, and let him go,
Leaning against his golden undertow.

III

Leaning against the golden undertow,
Backward, I saw the birds begin to climb
with bodies hailstone-clear, and shadows flow,
Fixed in a sweet meniscus, out of Time,
Out of the torrent, like the fainter land
Lensed in a bubble’s ghostly camera,
The lighted beach, the sharp and china sand
Glitters and waters and peninsula -

The moment’s world it was; and I was part,
Fleshless and ageless, changeless and made free.
“Fool, would you leave this country?” cried my heart,
But I was taken by the suck of sea.

The gulls go down, the body dies and rots,
And Time flows past them like a hundred yachts.

The Language of Time, the Language of LIfe

August 31st, 2009

In this month’s Leading Light session with Dr Anne Russell and Dr Linda Berens, we explored personality types, temperaments and interaction styles. To what end? Linda says it perfectly: “self-knowledge and self-leadership”. I had an “AHA!” moment when Anne said: “it is about giving language to discover and explore differences, making interactions with others easier.” YES! Aren’t things so much easier to understand when we have the right words, the right language. For now, I wish to share with you my language of ‘time-management’, or even ‘life management’,  put simply  – getting the most out of the precious time we have.

Time is what we want most, but… what we use worst. William Penn
One cannot manage too many affairs: like pumpkins in the water, one pops up while you try to hold down the other. Chinese Proverb

“OUCH!” These quotes are close to the bone for me. I have a crazy pumpkin dunking tendency (only 2 pumpkins – what a luxury!).  While I have tried many a fancy diary and online self management system, two things work brilliantly for me:

1. “Out to Sea”

Once a week my NoMad colleague Nigel Russell goes sailing. It is fixed, non-negotiable, time out. It took me some training to get used to the idea. Now I like it. I like and respect that he values himself enough to prioritise this time. At the beginning of the year, I decided to spend more time with my daughter, who is rapidly approaching three! I decreed Tuesday mornings as ‘our time’. For the first few months, this worked for about every 2 out of 3 Tuesdays. What I was doing was making it ‘our time’ as long as no other formal meeting or engagement came up. What I wasn’t doing was making up for that ’lost’ time on another day. Therefore, I was allowing something else to nudge in as priority one. I was also giving permission to other people to manage ‘my’ time.

Now every Tuesday morning, between 9am and 1pm,  if you try to get a hold of me, ‘I am out to sea’. This meansat I am ‘out of range’: no mobile, no computer – just ‘one pumpkin’. I have found this way of expressing my time and use of it invaluable for myself and working with others.

2. “She has rocks in her head”
Well perhaps not literally, but I do have rocks sitting in a jar on my desk. Time is like an empty wardrobe or storage space. If empty, it will fill. Increase the space, more ’stuff’ will appear.  Mark out some time in your diary, and it is full before you have even contemplated how to use it. I have a very clear and colourful picture in front of me that depicts and gives language to my priorities – how I like to be in the world and what I wish to contribute. This has been developed through many years of self reflection. To ground this, I picked out 7 rocks of varying size, to represent my 7 key priorities – family, personal and work related. Each one is written on a rock. Highest priority, gets the largest rock and so on. When I am asked to do something that is not represented on these rocks I ask: “Which rock will I take out to fit this one in” OR “Which rock will I chip away at, to make the other one fit”. This gives me a very tangible and sensory language to understand the impacts of my decisions on priorities and time. I have also used post it notes (of varying sizes) as puzzle pieces to achieve the same purpose.

One of my favourite poems is that by Australian poet Kenneth Slessor “Out of time”. It fascinates me as much today as it did when first read some 25 years ago. It is a language for time, and while it needs to be read in its entirety, here is a taster:

“Leaning against the golden undertow,

Backward, I saw the birds begin to climb

with bodies hailstone-clear, and shadows flow,

Fixed in a sweet meniscus, out of Time”…..

What do you do to make sure that your priority one is just that when it comes to your use of time? Share your thoughts at the Evolve Blog.
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EVOLVE NOW BOTTOM LINE: Finding your own language to express your priorities and time can make your priorities clearer, more grounded and respected by yourself and others.

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“To Risk” by William Arthur Ward

July 30th, 2009

My partner introduced me to this lovely poem 15 years ago, glad we took the risks that we did……..

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out to another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.

Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.
The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
And the realist adjusts the sails.